First of all, I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has subscribed to my blog. When I started this I never thought it would take off and people would actually read what I write, but I guess first thoughts were wrong. Over the past few months I have posted some personal, philosophical posts which allowed me to express how I was feeling. So thank you guys for taking the time and reading my posts.

I have just got back from my first holiday abroad with my fiánce David. We spent a week out in Mallorca and had an amazing time chilling in the sun and drinking all week. Honestly, it was perfect. This was my first holiday on 5 years and my first holiday without my family, so let’s just say I was quite nervous. We went to a lovely little bar called Lunas Grill, and the food and drinks were nothing short of gorgeous. The entertainment was incredible, never bored and there was always something going on.

I also want to talk about me moving out of home. I haven’t done in yet, but in a few months time I will be flying the nest and moving in with David. I am erg excited to be making a home with my partner, it will be the beginning of our life together. Although, we have hit a dilemma… We have to move out of the house for nearly three months while refurbishment is being done, and we need to decide whether to stay in the temporary house permanently or move back to this house. We are still undecided, but I would vote for the easiest option. I plan on making it into a proper home, decorating and havin photos all around the house. I am SO excited!

Anyway, I can’t think of anything else to write now.
But once again, a massive thankyou to my subscribers! Let me know if there is anything I can post that would be of more interest to you.

I love you all, from the bottom of my heart.



NEW BEGINNINGS Saturday, Oct 8 2011 

New beginnings can really make you realise a lot about life. The meaning of fun can change and you find things you’ve never really enjoyed start being fun. New beginning can also change the person you are, such as a new motivation and new outlook on life.

A few months ago I had quite a difficult time after I split with my partner, and thought that from that point on I would change who I am and start living life how I wanted. I started to push myself at work, make new friends and be more sociable. Now, I have a new partner… And I have to say I have never been happier. Funny how something so great can spring from nowhere.

Ive never really been great at giving advice, but to everyone who thinks the world is over after a break up let me tell you…. Brush yourself off and get up again, because life gets a hell of a lot better.

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I also wanted to apologise for not posting anything the past few months. My new beginning has meant I am very busy at work and having fun in general. I will try to keep you updated on new gossip and changes in life, but I won’t promise anything.

Love you all,

A NIGHT FROM HELL Friday, May 27 2011 

Paranoia has taken over, and everything seems to be going wrong. My head is throwing all types of thoughts around my brain, and the only way to release them is through my literature. I haven’t written in years, but my feelings go into my writing and tell how I feel at that time. So here you are, a little insight into my night from hell…

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My own thoughts, my own brain,
Imploding inside my head.
My own demons, my own issues,
Taking control of my life.
My own scars, my own wounds,
Ripped open by my heart.

I thought I had everything,
I thought I had you.
Stolen by my thoughts,
My feelings disappear.
The world falling away at my feet,
The ground giving way,
Revealing the ghost of you, my love,
My first and only love.
Destroyed inside my own head.

You taught me how to live,
How to laugh, how to smile.
You made me feel complete,
As if one entity.
The nights I’d stay awake in bed,
And watch you whilst you slept.
I though I had everything.

Betrayed by my own head,
And hurt by my own heart.
The night we lost everything we had,
The night we fell to dust.
And where were you, my love?
A million miles away in a distant frame of mind.
On the night I needed you the most,
The night my own thoughts detroyed me.

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This is how I’m feeling. Sorry it’s not the happiest of posts, but I had to get it out.

Jay x

MOTIVATION | WORK | DUCK SAUCE Thursday, May 12 2011 

Motivation is the biggest part of a career, without it you will go nowhere. To be motivated is to be determined to suceed, the main priority in my life. Having targets and goals make a person work harder, and when you work harder you get further ahead in life.

Now, not to be rude. People who have no motivation or drive are the people that work in places like ASDA or McDonalds. People who have motivation and drive are the people with a genuine career, such as hairdressing, IT or medical work. This is the category I fall into. I am motivated by money, and opportunities. The further in my career I get the more opportunities come my way. And yes, it is difficult sometimes but that’s why you power through to prove yourself and to get to where you want to be.

I don’t really know where this post came from, I’m sitting on a train to London listening to that stupid Duck Sauce song. Its been a slow day at work, two clients all day and a lot of flyering. And that is all I can do, flyer. Funny how much power that one little piece of paper with a £25 haircut offer on the front has. I feel horribly ill, my eyes feel like they are about to explode out of my face and my head is throbbing. Although, it may just be the amount of wine I drank last night. Hangover or illness, they both feel the same right now.

Anyway, random post over. I am going to enjoy a one day course at the RUSH Academy tomorrow, and spend some time with the boyfriend.
Stay Safe!

Jay x


Just a really random thought that went through my head earlier today. Why is it that people get the two mixed up, when they both mean two completely seperate things? To be confident means you are happy with who your are, and as long as your happy that is all that matters. Whereas arrogance on the other hand, means that you think you are better than everyone, and try to make yourself feel better and more superior.

So, the one thing I don’t understand is how some people think I’m arrogant? When really I am just happy with who/what I am, and live my life how I want to. If I want to stay in bed all day, I will. If I want to go out and get drunk every weekend, I will. This is how I want to live my life.

I can’t stand arrogance, it is one of the most unattractive traits to a person. People who tend to suffer from this “disease” of making people feel bad to make themselves feel better should be put on a desert island and left there, alone. I just don’t understand why somebody would be like that. Everyone is equal, everyone has thier own personality and thier own perspective on life. I don’t live by the rules people have made for themselves, I live by my own rules, and if I break them it doesn’t matter because I made them. Every person needs rules, and morals. Be nice to one another, be at peace with one another.

And another thing, I wanted to talk about the Anti-Homsexuality Bill that is about to be passed in Uganda. What gives the Ugandan Government the right to tell the country who they should be. If somebody is gay, thier gay. Its not a crime, it’s called love. As long as two individuals love each other it shouldn’t matter whether they are homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual. Love is love. So please, click HERE to sign the petition to stop this bill being passed, and help override the Ugandan Governments decision.

Jay x

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…is all that ever seems to happen in my life. Its one of the most frustrating things in the whole world when you have nobody to do anything with. I mean, sure there are people I can do things with but it only ever seems to be on thier terms, and I always get pushed to the back and my thoughts don’t count. Why should I be the one to initiate an activity such as shopping, and then be dragged around shops I hate and not visit the shops I want to? It happens everytime I go shopping with friends, and now I’d rather go alone so I can get the things I really want.

Although there are a few good points to my boring little life. My boyfriend lives in London, which gives me a great excuse to get away from home for a while and have a nice time. Some people say I’m silly for having a boyfriend that lives so far away, but I see it as a good thing. We don’t spend every waking moment with each other, we don’t get sick of each other, and once a week its nice to get away to the city and chill out. We enjoy each others company, and we don’t necessarily have to go out and spend money, we can cuddle up and watch BBC IPlayer and be happy. I couldn’t imagine anything better than that, could you? The only downside to the weekly commute to the city is the train journey. It doesn’t really take that long, but it feels like it takes ages to pull into London Waterloo. Twenty five minutes from Woking, but around forty/forty five minutes from Farnborough.

However, this long train journey does give time to reflect and think about other things such as my job. Being a hairdresser is actually quite stressful, and you can get quite run down by being on your feet all day everyday. Every now and again you get the occasional thought run through your mind and you may start thinking about quitting, but personally I didn’t spend two years training for nothing. However stressful it may get, I will improve and I will progress through my career. You see, this has been a motivation I have had my whole life… Progression. That is the key to any successful career. If you cannot move forward, is there any point in having a career? This month at work, I am on my last month of my probationary period and my manager has given me a target to be able to stay. I must make £4,800 professional income to save my job. Can it be done? Yes it can, and it will. All I have to do is make £240 a day to reach this target. In total, I must do:

– 30 Kerastase Treatment Rituals

– £4,400 in professional services (ie. cuts and colours)

– £400 in Retail sales

– Request Rate must stay about 40%

It will be difficult to achieve, but is perfectly achievable. If not, my job will be finished and my career would take a step  backwards which is not what I want. Therefore, I am going to do everything in my power to make this work, and trust me I will hit target.

Jay x

FRIENDS Sunday, May 8 2011 

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Definition of “friend”:

– a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
– a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
– – – – –
Wow, my first personal blog. Is it wierd that I feel like Perez Hilton? I mean, apart from the fact I have blonde hair, I’m 20 years old and have a genuine career. I just wanted to share my thoughts with you, as there is so much that goes round up there I need a space to keep it all. I thought I’d start by talking about my friends, or “friends” should I say.
SO, don’t get me wrong I love my friends dearly. But recently I’ve found that the majority of them actually don’t care about our friendship. For instance, the only two people that came out to Soho last night were Johan and Max. I’m not complaining that they came out, but I am pretty annoyed with my good friends that said they would come but then didn’t show and turned thier phones off. It makes me feel like I’m only there when they want an/or need me, and that’s not how it works. All the time I was in Heaven last night, by myself for about 4 hours, I was thinking how much my friends do actually annoy me. That, and I was thinking of how much I’d had to drink and the drunken ecstasy I seemed to be in.
Although it makes me realise that I do have some good friends, and I mean the ones who actually care. One of which I have the pleasure of working with and calling my BEST friend. She truly is one of the best friends somebody could ever ask for, she actually cares about how I feel, she listens to me and helps me out when I need her. I don’t say it very often though, which makes me feel really guilty, but she has influenced my life so much I don’t know what it would be like without her.
Rant over, and my head a little bit clearer, I would like to than you for reading my first post. Expect many more in the future, whether it be the most stupid topic or deeply philosophical, I can promise you some great thoughts and stories.
Thanks guys!!
Jay x